Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Advantages of geezerhood

I read an article on Salon recently that made me realize (again) just how lucky my generation was. The article, "How not to make love like a porn star," described some of the perils of living in a time when porn is everywhere. Some people can watch porn and recognize it for what it is: pure fantasy. Other people apparently view porn and think they're watching a reality show. This can have some strange and depressing consequences, like young men being foolish enough to believe that what they see on the screen is what women actually want in the bedroom.

The author of the article points out some of the bizarre behavior that is common in porn, such as the man grabbing his hardened penis and beating it on the woman's body, an exercise that serves no discernible purpose (as far as this disinterested commentator can tell) other than to show the world that, yes, the male actor's dick is indeed hard enough to cut diamonds and that it is also large enough to be a serviceable substitute should someone require a baseball bat. This is the type of behavior that from a woman's perspective elicits baffled looks and exclamations of  "What the hell? Are you deranged?"

That, however, is not primarily why I say we aging baby boomers are lucky.  No, we're lucky because we geezers who are now in our 60s and 70s hit adulthood just in time to enjoy a decade or two of relatively carefree hedonism minus today's unrealistic expectations about body types and athletic abilities. There was porn, i.e., explicit photos and stag films, but when smut started going mainstream, films like "Deep Throat" and "Behind the Green Door" featured actors who looked like ordinary human beings. Both men and women still had body hair, men did not look like they spent endless hours at the gym, and women were not expected to have identical genitalia. The word "labioplasty" was unknown.

If someone had told me 40 years ago that vaginal cosmetic surgery would someday become relatively common I wouldn't have believed it. In fact, I'm not sure I'd believe it now if I were a little less well-read. Apparently just as men are being indoctrinated by bad porn into believing they should wield their penises like wiffle bats, thanks to the pornification of society young women increasingly believe that the labia minora should never be visible, i.e., women are all supposed to have a crotch similar to that of a Barbie doll. This goes beyond bizarre -- feminists and human rights advocates are campaigning globally to end female genital mutilation in third world countries while at the same time supposedly well-educated middle class women in the United States are paying to have their genitalia mutilated. And, just like any other genital mutilation, they're experiencing the same risks: infection, loss of sensitivity, and months or years of pain. If it's barbaric when a young woman has her labia minora removed in Ethiopia for quasi-religious reasons, isn't it equally barbaric when a young woman has her labia minora trimmed because she thinks that men expect all women to look like a Mattel product? Why no feminist outrage and/or protest marches outside the cosmetic surgery clinics in Beverly Hills or Manhattan?

In short, thanks to what is aptly termed the pornification of popular culture, we have increasing numbers of men and women making themselves miserable and falling for sales pitches for "male enhancement" products or unnecessary surgery because what they see on the screen does not match up with what they're seeing in the bedroom. I am so happy I am old.


  1. Liked the read. I never once thought about lifts, changes, etc. to my body. I like myself, well, except for my big ears. Thank God my hair covers them. I feel the people that do this probably haven't had to go without, live with in their means, or haven't been a part of life giving to others. I don't feel sorry for them. It will catch up with them IF they live that long. Yes, I like being "old" in body and "very young" in spirit. Loved each stage of life. Barb

  2. I pretty much avoid such relationships with women, I think if I tried one my hand would get jealous and beat the shit out of me.

    The one good advantage to making it to 70 is my freshwater fishing licence is only $7.50.

  3. Sex can (and is) still great in your seventies. A little variety and sex play in the bedroom can keep it exciting. The key words are 'consenting adults.'

    Most porn I have seen is sadistic toward the female.

    For a good relationship the male's primary concern should be pleasing the female and the female's pleasing the male - this will guarantee a long active sexual relationship.

    I am sure the same works for same sex.

    You use it or lose it: and if you are a considerate lover you can use it well into older age.
    the Ol'Buzzard

  4. I am going to have a brief discussion on this issue with my daughters - I am curious on their take and experience with these issues.

    I totally agree with you on the unrealistic crap these kids have had access to from the time they were too young to have any perspective on the subject. We were lucky to have come of age when we dd.


My space, my rules: play nice and keep it on topic.