Thursday, October 10, 2013

It's Hell getting old

On top of all the usual downsides of aging -- less energy, brittler bones, mysterious aches and pains, gray hair, wrinkles, you name it -- getting older means sliding into the demographic where you get the advertising you really don't want to see. Your snail mail box starts filling up with insurance advertising and flyers from funeral homes. Being female doesn't stop your email from loading up with spam from "Canadian" pharmacies trying to sell you erectile dysfunction cures and solve your low T problem. And then the Internet in the form of Google and other search engines figures out your demographic niche and the pop ups and ads in the side bars go from being fairly innocuous to specifically targeting women of a certain age. And this appears:
You know, there are a lot of things I'd rather not think about as I get older. Butterfly body liners are one of them. In fact, this product is something I now wish I'd never heard of. Life can be depressing enough without knowing that, and I quote from the ads, "1 out of 5 women over the age of 50 suffer from anal leakage." Does the world really need to know that on top of suffering from hot flashes, gray hairs, wrinkles, vaginal dryness, and maybe wetting their pants when they sneeze, twenty percent of older women are walking around with leaking bowels? No wonder older men don't want to date ladies their own age.

4 comments:

  1. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry when I read your blog today. Heck, I've had my bladder "uplifted", (we don't talk about leakage...) I've had my cataracts removed (well, vision is better but I still don't drive at night)... my hearing aids fight with space over my ears with my eyeglasses... my knees creak, my fingers are looking pretty gnarled. I'm just glad I'm still around to get old and still enjoy.

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  2. I've hit 70 and I'm thankful my ass isn't leaking yet. But I don't always trust a good fart so I go sit on the toilet for it. :-)

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  3. Can we please go back to politics?
    That from BBC watered my eyes...


    Oh! PSA is fown to 1.29! I think we fried the little fucker...


    Bests,

    Sarge

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  4. Wow - I haven't heard that one before.

    I am complaining because I made it through peri-menopause after 11 years and now I have developed horrible seasonal allergies!! When does it ever stop? I know, death...

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