Sunday morning

C-SPAN. Coffee, toast, the endless entertainment provided by the delusional right-wing faithful. Life is good. I am a creature of habit, I like having a set routine -- stalkers would give up on me through boredom; I'd be too easy -- and this morning definitely followed the usual script to lull me into a cozy feeling that life is proceeding as usual: Obama's a socialist, Social Security is teetering on the brink of insolvency, we're all doomed as long as the Democrats insist on dragging civilization down into the abyss.

Not surprisingly, the looniest calls, the one where describing the caller as a "few fries shy of a happy meal" doesn't really cover it because it's real clear the poor sap never even made it to the drive-through window, were all from the South. Is it the kudzu? Does it emit fumes that kill brain cells?

Two different things have reinforced the image of the South as the bastion of the mentally challenged: one is the "birther" movement, the other is health care. Both just floor me. They're both so far over the "how fucking dumb are you?!" line that they're well beyond "the stupid, it burns" point.

The birther movement, which anyone with even a modicum of intelligence can see is a proxy for racism -- Barack Obama could have been born under the US Capitol rotunda with both houses of congress witnessing the event and there'd be closet Klan types howling that he's a foreigner (and this is the part they won't say out loud) because he's black. Because, of course, as far as they're concerned the only people who actually qualify for elective office are white males and an occasional token white woman.

That said, the amusing part of watching the birthers in action is seeing just how unbelievably ignorant they are about how birth certificates are actually issued, and what counts as one. They actually get into debates over supposed differences between a "certificate of birth" and a "birth certificate." It goes beyond moronic. You know, when I applied for a driver's license here in Georgia they insisted on seeing my "birth certificate" so they'd know I was a U.S. citizen. You know what it says across the top? "Certificate of birth." (It's also kind of funny seeing just how many there are who don't seem to believe Hawaii is a state, so even if President Obama was born in Honolulu it doesn't count, but that's a different issue.)

And then there's health care. . . this is a part of the country that has some of the lousiest health outcomes in the nation. Quality of care sucks big time, lots and lots of people have no health insurance whatsoever, and they're worried about socialized medicine? Get a grip, people. Socialized medicine would have to be an improvement over none at all.

Of course, one of the funnier things to emerge from the South in the past week was reading about one of the fine citizens of South Carolina who got up at a town hall meeting and ranted about not wanting the government to mess with his Medicare by replacing it with a government program. When the Congress critter whose district it was tried telling him that Medicare is a government program, his constituent started arguing with him.

It's got to be the kudzu.