More news of the weird out of Maricopa County

A naked woman stole a deputy sheriff's patrol truck yesterday and led police in a high speed chase for close to 70 miles across a good chunk of the state. They finally managed to get some spike strips put down on I-10 ahead of her. Initial reports were a tad confusing: one, she was naked. Two, she may have been the victim of a sexual assault (which could explain why she was naked). So how does a naked woman manage to carjack a deputy sheriff? And why was she at a gas station?

The news reports, which appear to be as baffled as the rest of us, note that the deputy responded to a report of a naked woman at a Shell gas station in Gila Bend, which is southwest of Phoenix on I-8 heading toward Yuma. According to Reuters, the woman appeared distraught and disoriented when the deputy approached her. He was apparently trying to cover her nakedness with a blanket when she took off in his truck. By the time the cops managed to stop her, she was almost in Tucson.

Overall, it's pretty much of a mystery except for one thing: I cheerfully predict the deputy is going to end up being disciplined for leaving his truck running when he got to the Shell station. All the naked woman had to do was throw it into gear to make her dash for wherever it was she thought she was going. 

And, on the positive side, maybe because she was female and naked, the cops didn't kill her when they finally got her to stop. They didn't even tase her. They used a bean bag stun gun to subdue her. Although going by the aerial shots of where they stopped her, they could have simply circled the patrol cars  and penned her in. I guess there's nothing like the report of a naked woman making a high speed getaway to inspire every cop within a 100-mile radius to decide his assistance is needed at the scene.  

Weirdness in the news

William Shatner has been hit with a paternity suit. When I saw the headline, my first thought was that the dude was a little old to be out there getting it on with groupies -- or, for that matter, to have any groupies. Female trekkies who lusted after him back when the original "Star Trek" was on television are now post-menopausal; younger women aren't too likely to pursue a fat old man they associate with Priceline.com commercials.

Turned out it's not a woman suing him at all. It's a dude on the verge of geezerhood himself. Some guy is claiming Shatner is his dad. Shatner apparently did the deed with the plaintiff's mother back in 1956. Yep, you read that right. 1956!

This is so bizarre. Who waits until they're almost eligible for Social Security to go in pursuit of their deadbeat dad? Is the guy hoping to set some sort of record on the Maury Povich show for oldest person demanding a DNA test? If the plaintiff's mother did actually get it on with Shatner, why didn't she go after him herself for child support? And how on earth does a William Shatner story actually manage to make it to the top of the trending list? So many questions. . .

I will confess to a sense of relief, though, when I realized the news item was about Shatner's possible sex life 60 years ago and not a link to his obituary now. There have been enough celebrities taking dirt naps lately that my first initial reaction to seeing Shatner's name highlighted was that he'd dropped dead, too. Not that it would be much of a shock. The dude is 85 after all.

Priorities

You hear about people rushing back into burning buildings to save cherished mementos -- wedding photos, family heirlooms, maybe some jewelry -- but a guy in Columbus, Georgia, apparently valued something most people wouldn't worry about. As reported this morning in the Atlanta Journal Constitution:

If your family is lucky enough to make it out of a burning home, it’s generally a good idea not to go back inside.

But Walter Serpit said he had no choice. The Columbus, Ga., man made sure all six adults and two children made it outside safely when smoke filled the family’s living room Thursday afternoon. Then, he went back in to get his beer.

Yep, his beer. My first thought was that the guy was an idiot. Granted, he freely admitted that he is an alcoholic so he probably had a stronger desire than most of us to self-medicate while watching his house burn down, but it was Thursday. The liquor stores were open. Now if it had been Sunday in Georgia, that would be a different story.

On the other hand, the story notes that Mr. Serpit grabbed several cans of his favorite beverage. If it comes in a can, it's probably close to qualifying as pure water, so why bother? It's a mystery. . .

Get a flu shot, Bucky

I think I spent the longest 5 minutes of my life at work this afternoon. It was like being back in grade school, where you stare at the clock trying to force the hands to move so you can make your escape. I would have sworn I had been editing a paper on influenza killing badgers and ferrets for several hours. . . checked the clock, and I don't think the time had changed at all.

On the bright side, who would have guessed that badgers would be susceptible to influenza A? The list of species that either carry influenza A strains or are susceptible to them keeps growing. It's like each time a paper comes out saying "Influenza in giant anteater" or "Influenza in Canadian skunks" another set of researchers looks around for some other mammal with a cough and says, We can top that. Let's check that beast out.  And, lo and behold, influenza A in dogs, cats, ferrets (both domestic and black-footed), bearcats, badgers, and more. 

And, just in case you're wondering how someone got close enough to a skunk to hear it coughing, the fine furry friends were being raised on a "mink" ranch.