And the war continues

I thought the fuss over the Starbucks cup was pretty stupid, but then I heard something that topped it. Simon Malls, a company that operates multiple shopping malls around the country, decided to change its design for its "photo with Santa area." Based on what I saw on the news on Monday morning, they decided to leave the 1930's "Christmas Story" type set behind and go with something more reminiscent of "Frozen" -- very clean, lots of white, rather minimalist, and a whole lot less tacky than the usual tribute to a bygone era. People freaked. Holy wah, you'd have thought they'd butchered Rudolf in front of kindergartners and were serving up reindeer tartare.

Once again, I'm thinking way too many people are taking "just how fracking stupid are you?" as a challenge. Freaking out over the lack of snowflakes on a coffee cup? When did a snowflake become a religious symbol? The last time I checked, all a snowflake signified was called Winter. Or has Winter become a 3-month religious observance in itself? And throwing hissy fits and threatening boycotts  over a change in set design? The Simon Malls corporation wasn't getting rid of Santa or saying Christmas was cancelled. All they were doing was changing their display. That's like getting pissed that Sears put silver Christmas trees in a store window instead of green ones. The stupid, it burns.

Once again it becomes clear that the greatest danger to Christmas are its supposed defenders. They're fighting a war that exists only in their heads, and they're driving more and more of us into dreading the holiday season. As I've said before, I used to actually like the holidays. I'm not religious, but I liked the carols, the colorful decorations, the seasonal foods, the gift giving. Not anymore. Now I dread it a little more every year as we get to wonder just what type of ridiculous crap the Xmas warriors will be offended by this time around. I have a tip for Starbucks for next year: don't bother to do a holiday cup at all. You're going to get bitched at if you do, so save some corporate money by skipping the season completely. You'll still get bitched at, but it won't have cost you anything. Ditto the malls -- drop Santa. If anyone bitches, just say "He's not in the Bible," and let it go. It's not exactly waging war on Xmas if you drop the pagan/secular/materialistic add-ons, is it?  No trees, no elves, no made-up fat guy threatening kids with lumps of coal. Sounds good to me.

What is wrong with people?

September isn't even over yet but the ridiculous memes about "Don't say Happy Holidays!" or "I will say Merry Christmas!" have begun to flood Facebook. What the fuck is wrong with some people? Just how unbelievably tone deaf do people have to be to not realize that all they're accomplishing is pissing people off and sucking the joy right out of the holiday season? Do they seriously believe that somehow "Christmas" is under attack?

Please, idiot acquaintances who fall prey to the temptation to share those annoying memes or to lecture the rest of us on the need to "keep Christ in Christmas," if Christmas is somehow in danger of being neglected explain to me why Walmart already has Christmas merchandise on display? I noticed that last time I visited the Evil Empire there was a humongous display of Xmas crap  sitting right next to the Halloween candy. The only war on Christmas being waged is the one you over-sensitive paranoid Bible-thumpers are fighting in your own heads.

For what it's worth, every time I see or hear someone getting worked up over the phrase "Merry Christmas," I tend to think, holy wah, they really don't know their Bible, do they? They may thump the Good Book a lot, but apparently quite a few of the nominal Christians never bother reading it. 

Thanks for making me hate Christmas

It has begun. It started a little later than in previous years, but the deluge of "Don't say Happy Holidays!" and "Keep Christ in Christmas" messages landing in my In Box and showing up on Facebook is now in full flow. And as the annual rhetoric about the nonexistent war on Christmas heats up, once again I find myself thinking Jehovah's Witnesses just might have the right idea. They look at the historical origins of the holiday we all call Christmas; note that it is not in the Bible in any way, shape, or form; pronounce it (as it most certainly is) a Pagan Holiday; and choose to ignore it.

I wonder if they get as annoyed by all the annual stupidity over the mythical war on Christmas as I do? I've never been able to figure out how anyone with even two brain cells to rub together would believe the garbage that the rabble rousers on Fox spew each year about Christmas being under attack, but apparently a fair number of people fall for the nonsense. How anyone could believe there's a "war on Christmas" when stores start putting out Christmas merchandise right after Labor Day, every city in the country spends money on holiday decorations -- and let's get real; no municipality is going to bother with lighting displays just to celebrate the winter solstice (although it would be nice if they would; maybe some of the decorations would end up slightly less tacky) -- and over 80% of the population of the United States self-identifies as Christian is beyond me. How do you persecute a majority? It's logically impossible.

So what does it say when people start whining and bitching about other people saying "Happy holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" or go off on a rant when they see "Xmas" instead of "Christmas"? To me it says they're mean-spirited ignoramuses who like sucking all the joy out of the season. Someone wishes you well by saying "Happy holidays" and you respond by bitching at them? You're making the Grinch look good.

I used to sort of look forward to the holiday season. Christmas isn't my favorite holiday, but I liked having an excuse to bake gum drop cakes, do some specialized crafting, and put up a few decorations. It helped brighten the darkest time of the year. Not anymore. Now I find myself bracing for the first of the sanctimonious missives -- or worse, an in my face rant -- from one of my idiot cousins (and I've got several to pick from, unfortunately) and praying for January to get here fast.

So thank you, all you warriors in the battle to defend Christmas, for doing a stellar job of killing what it is you claim you're trying to save. You're doing a great job of turning a cheerful time of year into one that people dread.

It's that time of year again