Okay, where's the mud?

The vernal equinox has come and gone. Where's the mud? This is the time of year when the driveway is supposed to turn to soup while retaining its snowbanks for a few more weeks. Well, the snowbanks keep growing but the mud seems to be a tad late this year. Got up this morning and it was almost 10 below at our house. Ten below! on March 23. Subzero is normal for us from December through February, but at the end of March?

I am not a happy camper. I want to see some mud on my car, not icy stalactites formed by the weird slush, the mix of snow and MDOT chemicals, that gets kicked up on the highway. We drove to Hurley, Wisconsin, and back yesterday. By the time we got home, my poor little Focus was covered with mutant icicles. It's hard to see clearly in the photo, but the solidified slush on the side of the car isn't smooth. The car is covered with a zillion lumps, warts, nascent stalactites, whatever, ranging in size from fairly small bumps to protusions a couple inches long. It was bizarre.

Between the sun and the chemicals, the snow on the highway was melting, but the air temperature (especially on a moving vehicle) was low enough that as soon as that crap hit something, it started freezing. We passed a semi that had stalactites creeping out from the lug nuts on its front wheels that were long enough that the wheels looked like something off a Roman chariot armed with blades to disable its opponents. This is not normal. I want mud.