Monday, May 10, 2010

What an editor does


Before: 

The Late Sir J. P. Getty bequeathed the sum of £9,708,692.70 to you in the codicil and last testament to his (WILL) which is eleven (11%) of his total funds of 88,260,443.00 deposited with one of UK's biggest financial institution. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

After:

The late Sir J. P. Getty bequeathed the sum of £9,708,692.70 to you in a codicil to his last will and testament. This sum represents eleven (11) percent of his total funds of £88,260,443.00 and is deposited with one of the United Kingdom's largest financial institutions. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

I'd also suggest to the author that she change "largest financial institution" to a specific name to add veracity, but as a rule when I edit I try to keep things as close as possible to the original word choices -- it's supposed to be the author's voice, not mine, and I don't want to walk all over it. 

1 comment:

  1. i zap them suckers before i even get to read them..

    ReplyDelete

My space, my rules: play nice and keep it on topic.