Before:
The Late Sir J. P. Getty bequeathed the sum of £9,708,692.70 to you in the codicil and last testament to his (WILL) which is eleven (11%) of his total funds of 88,260,443.00 deposited with one of UK's biggest financial institution. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
After:
The late Sir J. P. Getty bequeathed the sum of £9,708,692.70 to you in a codicil to his last will and testament. This sum represents eleven (11) percent of his total funds of £88,260,443.00 and is deposited with one of the United Kingdom's largest financial institutions. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
I'd also suggest to the author that she change "largest financial institution" to a specific name to add veracity, but as a rule when I edit I try to keep things as close as possible to the original word choices -- it's supposed to be the author's voice, not mine, and I don't want to walk all over it.
i zap them suckers before i even get to read them..
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