Saturday, August 23, 2008


Well, I'm engaged in my usual Saturday morning masochism: listening to C-Span while drinking coffee and waking up. It is, as usual, Stupidity on Parade. For every caller who presents an interesting question or comment to the moderator or to the featured guest there appear to be half a dozen who spent way too many hours huffing Testor's back before they took the good stuff out. I'm not sure just who has a lock:

The Obsessed -- the single issue voters who really don't care about anything other than their own personal obsession, whether it's abortion, guns, taxes, Iraq, you name it, they'd probably vote for Osama bin Ladn if he promised to guarantee another abortion would never take place in this country or to eliminate the personal income tax.

The Die Hard Party Loyalists -- nothing else matters except they were born a Republican (or a Democrat), have voted Republican (or Democrat) for the past 30/40/50 years, and they will always vote a straight party line. The head of their ticket could be an amoral senile geezer with a hair trigger temper and a long history of flip-flopping and hypocrisy, but "My grandfather was a Republican, my father was a Republican, and, by God, I'm a Republican, too. And, by the way, John McCain is a hero." I didn't realize party affiliation was genetic, but I guess I was wrong.

The Clintonistas -- the insane cult of personality that has deified Hillary. All they can do is continue to sound aggrieved and do the "we're going to punish Obama for being mean to our girl" even if doing so means that in the process they're also punishing themselves and the country. They sound almost as crazy when they call in to C-Span as they look on their websites. Someone needs to slip those ladies some nice old fashioned Quaaludes. They've gotten so focused on the fate of just one person that they're forgetting the actual issues that supposedly made them feminists to begin with.

The Libertarians -- Bob Barr is going to lead them to the promised land now that Ron Paul is out of the picture, although you can tell they're still in mourning for the loss of the opportunity to vote for Dr. Paul in November. Bob Barr is actually going to lead his followers into raising his profile sufficiently for him to command higher speaking fees -- which I guess is the libertarian way, capitalism in action. More power to Mr. Barr for maximizing his resources -- maybe his speaking calendar will fill up to the point where he won't go back to writing his opinion column for the AJC come November 5.

And, of course, The Closet Racists -- the folks who had been leaning Democratic, but there' s "just something about Obama" that they're not comfortable with. He's smart, energetic, on his first wife, a self-made success, a man with only one house and who just recently finished paying off his student loans, . . . the ultimate American success story. What's not to like? Well, you know, "he's just not like us." Stop tapdancing, people, and face the truth: you don't want to vote for a black man. What, can't do that because it would mean acknowledging that what blacks say about racism still being a problem just might be true? Well, then find a more nuanced argument to use to justify your reasoning so your bigotry isn't quite so screamingly obvious.

Every weekend I find myself hoping the callers to C-SPAN don't represent a true cross section of the American electorate, but I fear I'm wrong.


  1. LOVE THIS!!!!!! As a reformed C-SPAN addict, I have to tell you, this is a post that I relate to entirely!

    Perfect. The perfect post on voters/callers/C-SPAN junkies.

  2. A belated comment but I agree. If Osama ran as a Democrat and Jesus was the Republican nominee, the old man would have pulled the lever for Bin Laden. And of course the number of NRA voters in this area is legendary.


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